The Story of Joseph and Pugil: A retelling of Hermann Hesse's Magister Ludi

Around 300 CE in the deserts of Egypt there were spiritual healers living ascetic lives. I want to introduce you to Joseph an eremitic monk who lived alone in the desert where the “sun seared and parched him. He scraped his knees on rock and sand as he prayed. He waited, fasting, for the sun to set before he chewed a few dates” for dinner (Hesse, 1969, p. 301).

He prayed and struggled with temptations and spiritual battles for years and in the “fervor” of Joseph’s life and devotion a “gift of listening” developed and blossomed “as his hair began to gray” (Hesse, 1969, p. 301).

“Whenever a brother … came to Joseph and told him of his deeds, sufferings, temptations, and missteps” Joseph would listen and take the man’s suffering within his own bosom and dissipate it.

Joseph was more than a decade younger than another famous eremitic monk who had also developed a gift of healing through years of discipline and devotion.

The other healer’s name was Pugil and “[Pugil] was celebrated for being able to read the souls of those who sought him out without recourse to words. He often surprised a faltering penitent by charging him bluntly with his still unconfessed sins.” (Hesse, 1969, p. 302) In contrast to Joseph’s mild but effective gift of healing by listening, Pugil as his name suggested healed through castigation, chastisement and the assignment of penance. Indeed, he had the authority of a bishop. (Hess, 1969, p. 302)

As Joseph grew older he lost his joy in life and he couldn’t bear the practice of healing anymore. He was bone-weary and tired. He felt abused and yes, alarmingly, he entertained the way of Judas who took his own life after the great betrayal.

While in this hopeless state of mind, he abandoned the post he felt he couldn’t bear and joined some men who were travelling (Hesse, 1969, p. 304). They stopped with their camels that night at an oasis and Joseph overheard them talking about himself (Joseph) and about his elder the great Father Confessor Pugil.

Joseph heard the camel driver say, “He’s called Pugil or ‘the boxer’ because he piles right into all the devils, and when somebody confesses his sins, my friend, Pugil doesn't sigh and keep his counsel. He sounds off and gives it to the man straight from the shoulder. They say he actually beats some till they're black and blue.” (Hess, 1969, pp. 306-307). Don’t go to the weak and sissified Joseph” he said, Pugil is the great healer.

Joseph decided then and there that he must see Pugil and make his confession to that great man.

Not many days later, Joseph met a man at another Oasis and asked if he knew of Pugil. The man acted strangely and demanded to know who asked.

“I am Joseph” and I am the one who should like to know where I might find the great Pugil, he said. The man replied, “I have heard of you. Are you the one to whom the people go to confess?’” (Hesse, 1969, p. 309) The man then told Joseph that he was one and the same, Pugil, the great father confessor to which Joseph broke down and said “For a long time … my life has lost meaning.” “I am confused and suffer despair. (Hesse, 1969, p. 312) But Pugil did not rebuke or castigate Joseph as his reputation predicted. Instead he kissed Joseph and cried with him and took him in as his disciple.

Many years later Pugil grew close to death. On his deathbed he said “Joseph you are a great healer and you shall be my successor.” When we met, you were depressed with many confessions from sinners who think themselves more sinful than you. You knew of course that there was no such disparity and the façade fostered a view of life where “everything that once seemed important and sacred” disappeared and you were tempted to take the way of Judas. That is how you felt at the time.

And now the hour of confession has come for me too, and I am confessing: it happened that way to me also. I too thought I was useless and spiritually dead. I too thought I could no longer bear to have people flocking to me so trustfully, bringing me all the filth and stench of human life that they could not cope with, and that I too was tempted to end my life. I had heard of Joseph and that people flocked to him for confession and that many preferred him to me, because he was gentle, merciful and that he listened and dismissed them with a kiss.

I decided to make a pilgrimage to Joseph to confess my misery to him and ask him for advice. When I ran into him, under such odd circumstances, he was enough like the man I had expected for me to recognize him. But he was a fugitive; things had gone badly with him, as badly as for me, or perhaps worse, and he was not at all inclined to hear confessions. Rather, he was all agog to make a confession of his own, and to place his distress in another's hands.

That was a singular disappointment to me, and I was very sad. For if this

Joseph, who did not recognize me, had also grown tired of his service and was in despair over the meaning of his life – did that not seem to mean that both of us amounted to nothing, that both of us had lived uselessly, and we were both failures?

At the time I decided to play the part of healer and indeed you healed me by allowing me to heal you through confession.

Joseph began to cry. Pugil continued and said “may our Lord then send you as kindly, patient, and consoling a son and disciple as He has given to me in you” and that night the great father confessor and healer of souls, Pugil died and Joseph became his successor.

References

Hesse, H. (Richard and Clara Winston, Trans.) (1969). Magister ludi: The glass bead game. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, Inc.